Tom and Emily have both got conferences they have to go to in Tokyo, so they've been staying here this week.
Last year, Tom recommended me a deodorant called Uno, which you can buy in any Lawson convenience store here. Apparently it works better than any he's used before, so I was all keen to try it. So I found it, and sure enough it said "Super Hard Spray" on the can, so thinking this must be the shit, I bought it. And indeed, it was different: it felt like a kind of watered down glue and I had to hold my arms up until it dried for a minute before getting dressed. After the first couple of times I didn't smell at all, so I thought it must be doing the trick. But then at the end of one day I smelt really bad, so I was kind of pissed off that even this super deodorant wasn't doing the trick for me.
While Tom was staying here over the weekend, he pick up the can, noticing it's a different colour from the one he had. He takes a closer look at the back and sees that in fact, of the Uno range, I had managed to pick out the hairspray and not the deodorant.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Hello, I'm your pod-doctor for today, just levitate this way please.
The downside of last week was an ear infection. I went to an Ear, Nose and Throat Clinic in a hospital that Kogo recommended to me, which was a Sci-Fi meets playschool experience.
I had to undergo a couple of (I think largely pointless) tests on my hearing and ear pressure. The woman who gave me the ear pressure test gave me this thing that looked like a black plastic paraffin can with an oval bobble on top. I had to shove the bobble into my nostril while she stuck something else in my ear. At one point I really had to suppress my desire to laugh. Her instructions don't sound quite as ridiculous in English as they do in Japanese, but you get the gist if you imagine her talking to me as though I were a child.
"Now when I count to 3, try to gulp as best as you can... 1...2...3... GULP!"
"Good, well done! And again... give it your best!!"
After that, when I finally got to see the doctor, my name and the room number I had to go to was called out over a loudspeaker. I then walked into this corridor that was like something out of Star Trek and a door slides open to reveal a doctor sitting in a room that I like to think of as a kind of pod. He even had one of those shiny metallic discs strapped to his forehead. He was really very professional and good about everything though. I have a perforation in my left eardrum, which he suggests I should have a minor operation for. We'll see: I hear from other people that medicine can make it heal, and I'd like a second doctor's opinion. I'm not in any pain at all, which is a relief because I thought that burst eardrums were supposed to be the most painful things on earth. But the sense of unease that comes with it isn't great.
By the way, I reckon my eardrum was perforated when I came back to Tokyo on the bullet train. I was listening to my iPod and and suddenly the sound in my left ear started to drown out and pressure built up and my ear popped really painfully. Looking back, I know I don't listen to my iPod loud at all, so it can't have been that, and since bullet trains aren't pressurized like planes, I didn't think that was anything to do with it either. But since then both Tom and Emily have told me they have had problems with their ears whilst listening to their iPods on the train.
I'm not surprised that my eardrum ruptured in this case - I have slightly weaker eardrums than most people because of problems I had with my ears when I was a kid. But as for the dangers of listening to your iPod on the bullet train, remember you heard it here first!
I had to undergo a couple of (I think largely pointless) tests on my hearing and ear pressure. The woman who gave me the ear pressure test gave me this thing that looked like a black plastic paraffin can with an oval bobble on top. I had to shove the bobble into my nostril while she stuck something else in my ear. At one point I really had to suppress my desire to laugh. Her instructions don't sound quite as ridiculous in English as they do in Japanese, but you get the gist if you imagine her talking to me as though I were a child.
"Now when I count to 3, try to gulp as best as you can... 1...2...3... GULP!"
"Good, well done! And again... give it your best!!"
After that, when I finally got to see the doctor, my name and the room number I had to go to was called out over a loudspeaker. I then walked into this corridor that was like something out of Star Trek and a door slides open to reveal a doctor sitting in a room that I like to think of as a kind of pod. He even had one of those shiny metallic discs strapped to his forehead. He was really very professional and good about everything though. I have a perforation in my left eardrum, which he suggests I should have a minor operation for. We'll see: I hear from other people that medicine can make it heal, and I'd like a second doctor's opinion. I'm not in any pain at all, which is a relief because I thought that burst eardrums were supposed to be the most painful things on earth. But the sense of unease that comes with it isn't great.
By the way, I reckon my eardrum was perforated when I came back to Tokyo on the bullet train. I was listening to my iPod and and suddenly the sound in my left ear started to drown out and pressure built up and my ear popped really painfully. Looking back, I know I don't listen to my iPod loud at all, so it can't have been that, and since bullet trains aren't pressurized like planes, I didn't think that was anything to do with it either. But since then both Tom and Emily have told me they have had problems with their ears whilst listening to their iPods on the train.
I'm not surprised that my eardrum ruptured in this case - I have slightly weaker eardrums than most people because of problems I had with my ears when I was a kid. But as for the dangers of listening to your iPod on the bullet train, remember you heard it here first!
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Show me the Money!
Life suddenly got a bit busy this past week or so. I finally feel a bit better about the pay situation at the gallery because they are at least taking down the hours that I work on an official form, like the one everyone else has. I still don't actually know how much my hourly pay is, so that will be something to figure out when the first pay cheque comes in whenever.
I keep making really embarrassing mistakes with my Japanese in the office. By accidentally coming out with a similar-sounding word to the one I mean, instead of saying "I'm really happy to have started my adult life," I've managed to say "I'm really happy to have started my life as a man." And instead of "I'm not sure if I'm imagining this or not, but it there music playing?" I said "I'm not sure if I exist or not, but is there music playing?"
I've also started sitting in on lectures at university, which is has been really interesting. People seem alright, though it's early days. I'm sure I'll meet some cool people though.
I keep making really embarrassing mistakes with my Japanese in the office. By accidentally coming out with a similar-sounding word to the one I mean, instead of saying "I'm really happy to have started my adult life," I've managed to say "I'm really happy to have started my life as a man." And instead of "I'm not sure if I'm imagining this or not, but it there music playing?" I said "I'm not sure if I exist or not, but is there music playing?"
I've also started sitting in on lectures at university, which is has been really interesting. People seem alright, though it's early days. I'm sure I'll meet some cool people though.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
A Poem
One of my English students postponed his lesson today:
Dear Mr. R
Hello.
I am Inaba of a secretary of Mr. Imamura.
He got sick suddenly, and it was expected that I took a rest for a while.
I am really disappointed, but let me cancel a plan.
I say that he wants to meet you if he became well-conditioned.
Therefore, will you promise once again on a weekday after a twist on next month 12?
Yours sincerely,
Inaba
I wonder how many lessons it's going to take to fix his grammar.
Dear Mr. R
Hello.
I am Inaba of a secretary of Mr. Imamura.
He got sick suddenly, and it was expected that I took a rest for a while.
I am really disappointed, but let me cancel a plan.
I say that he wants to meet you if he became well-conditioned.
Therefore, will you promise once again on a weekday after a twist on next month 12?
Yours sincerely,
Inaba
I wonder how many lessons it's going to take to fix his grammar.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
The ground beneath my feet
I have to say, people here are a little unusually concerned because there have been a number of quite strong earthquakes in this region of Japan fairly close together over the last week or so. I was a bit disappointed because they all happened at about 6am and I was fast asleep and didn't notice at all, except being half-conscious of the one on Monday.
The two massive earthquakes off Indonesia since Boxing Day last year, plus the huge one in Kashmir, plus a big one in Niigata (NW Japan) a year ago have all contributed to the sense that Tokyo is next. People are worried that the earthquakes this week could be the medium-sized ones that preceded the Big One, which has been overdue for some ten, twenty years now. It's either going to be us or California... and either way we're on different ends of the same tectonic plate...
Apparently the Bible Code has the words Big Earthquake and Japan encoded near the year 2006 or something. You turn a blind eye to it all so as to get on with your life, but when you do think about it, it's not actually a very nice feeling at all.
In any case, if it does happen, I'll try and post a blog as soon as possible to let you know I'm okay.
The two massive earthquakes off Indonesia since Boxing Day last year, plus the huge one in Kashmir, plus a big one in Niigata (NW Japan) a year ago have all contributed to the sense that Tokyo is next. People are worried that the earthquakes this week could be the medium-sized ones that preceded the Big One, which has been overdue for some ten, twenty years now. It's either going to be us or California... and either way we're on different ends of the same tectonic plate...
Apparently the Bible Code has the words Big Earthquake and Japan encoded near the year 2006 or something. You turn a blind eye to it all so as to get on with your life, but when you do think about it, it's not actually a very nice feeling at all.
In any case, if it does happen, I'll try and post a blog as soon as possible to let you know I'm okay.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Sorry, but you're going to have to indulge me
So one of the other things I've been doing over the past few days is going weak at the knees with excitement over Madonna's new album Confessions on a Dance Floor, released in Japan tomorrow. The single Hung Up that's already out is fucking great, as is the video, which features dancers from the must-see documentary Rize, which I've also been raving about to people one-to-one. (See trailer here.)
And then there's this picture: Madonna the undisputed Queen of Pop, Glam and Future-Disco perfection.
And then there's this picture: Madonna the undisputed Queen of Pop, Glam and Future-Disco perfection.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Oh, Essay writing! That's where I'm a viking!
Not a lot going on at the mo. Being stereotypically Japanese in this respect, the gallery directors take forever to make a decision, so while I'm on the verge of getting a pretty good part-time job there, nothing will be concrete until this Thursday, I'm told. It was meant to be today that I got a decision, but clearly I have to bring in the infantry and go there in person to get something done.
So in the meantime, I've been going to art exhibitions, knowing that despite my uncontrollable spending urges, art works are simply too expensive to buy on impulse and so my budget this week is relatively unbruised. Some of these exhibitions have been excrutiatingly bad. The Yokohama Triennale has to be one of the worst shows I have ever seen: a colossal waste of time and money for all involved. Thank God it's only every three years. Perhaps they should make it the once-every-blue-mooniale and spare us the torment.
I also registered on a freelance English teacher's website so as to get some proper money (the gallery won't pay very much). And so I now find myself the mastermind of an international homework cheating racket. This woman contacted me because her daughter is at university in England and needs help with structuring her essays and arguments etc. She'll be back in Japan next month and I'll give her some lessons then, but in the meantime I'm being sent her essays by email, correcting the English (most of which is fucking perfect cos she's blatantly copied it out of a book already) adding a conclusion to tie it all together (which I copied off the internet) and getting paid!
Well, what?! It's an essay on Max Weber, what the fuck do I know?! ;-)
So in the meantime, I've been going to art exhibitions, knowing that despite my uncontrollable spending urges, art works are simply too expensive to buy on impulse and so my budget this week is relatively unbruised. Some of these exhibitions have been excrutiatingly bad. The Yokohama Triennale has to be one of the worst shows I have ever seen: a colossal waste of time and money for all involved. Thank God it's only every three years. Perhaps they should make it the once-every-blue-mooniale and spare us the torment.
I also registered on a freelance English teacher's website so as to get some proper money (the gallery won't pay very much). And so I now find myself the mastermind of an international homework cheating racket. This woman contacted me because her daughter is at university in England and needs help with structuring her essays and arguments etc. She'll be back in Japan next month and I'll give her some lessons then, but in the meantime I'm being sent her essays by email, correcting the English (most of which is fucking perfect cos she's blatantly copied it out of a book already) adding a conclusion to tie it all together (which I copied off the internet) and getting paid!
Well, what?! It's an essay on Max Weber, what the fuck do I know?! ;-)
Monday, November 07, 2005
High!
He's gone! I can't believe it! The bastard was still asleep three hours after he said he was going to go so I gave him a rude awakening by doing the washing up as noisily as possible. I told him I was going out for an hour and a half and he had better be gone when I was back. He was still there when I got back of course, but he left about twenty minutes later, apologised again and had actually cleaned up after himself! He even took the Vitamin C showerhead with him! I was so happy I danced a little jig on the spot where he's been slobbing out all day every day for the past two weeks. The flat is mine at last!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Riding the waves of highs and lows through Kyoto and Osaka
High: The cheapness of the night bus to Kyoto.
Low: The total lack of sleep gained on board and arriving at Kyoto station at 5:40am feeling like there was a kaleidoscope inside my brain.
High: Walking around temple grounds in old Kyoto almost completely alone for an hour, with only the odd monk or gardener around. It was beautiful weather and Kyoto in a different season from the ones I've known. An absolutely pure, traditional Japan that I've rarely seen before.
High: Hanging out with Tom again and wandering out into the stunning valleys outside of Kyoto.
High: Hanging out with Emily in Osaka and her showing me round this crazy city which I hardly know and which feels like an even more higgledy-piggledy version of Tokyo. And the Mono-ha exhibition (which is actually the main reason I came) which was great.
Low: Leaving Emily's room at night to go to the communal bathroom down the hall, putting on my shoes barefoot and half-way down the corridor feeling something a bit funny scratch one of my toes on my right foot. "Oh, maybe it's a shoelace," I think, but deep in the recesses of my mind some primal alarm bell is ringing. I take off the shoe and smack it a couple of times, expecting a small stone. Instead a cockroach falls out.
Oh the wails of horror, disgust and despair that came out of my mouth before I jumped on it with my other foot.
High: Saying fuck it to the night bus, canceling my reservation a couple of days early and getting a 70% refund, then taking the bullet train back to Tokyo and seeing Mt Fuji from the train for the first time. The bullet train is divine and I will never go to Kyoto/Osaka again by any other means. And as the photo below shows, Mt Fuji is still able to appear enigmatic despite being a fuck-off huge volcano.
Low: The ho is still here in the flat when he should have left the day before I got back. Kogo's grandfather died the other day and Kogo had to go back to Kobe to be with his family. The ho is clearly taking advantage of this to be here - he had the look of a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar when I got back. It's a shame, because I was just beginning to warm to him before I left. I don't really have the Japanese to launch into the full-on verbal assault that I'd give him if he understood English, so there's a strange atmosphere of stalemate in the apartment. He's tried to be nice but I've just rebuffed it every time which is freaking him out. He assures me that he'll be gone tomorrow. We'll see.
High: Retail therapy. I have sports clothes to go running in. As of tomorrow I will run. Having not run for over six years, it will hurt, but I will run and I will keep running until I get fit enough to start Karate again. Kogo is majorly into Karate and his enthusiasm is exactly what I need to get off my butt and start it again.
High?: Tomorrow? The day the ho goes?
Low: The total lack of sleep gained on board and arriving at Kyoto station at 5:40am feeling like there was a kaleidoscope inside my brain.
High: Walking around temple grounds in old Kyoto almost completely alone for an hour, with only the odd monk or gardener around. It was beautiful weather and Kyoto in a different season from the ones I've known. An absolutely pure, traditional Japan that I've rarely seen before.
High: Hanging out with Tom again and wandering out into the stunning valleys outside of Kyoto.
High: Hanging out with Emily in Osaka and her showing me round this crazy city which I hardly know and which feels like an even more higgledy-piggledy version of Tokyo. And the Mono-ha exhibition (which is actually the main reason I came) which was great.
Low: Leaving Emily's room at night to go to the communal bathroom down the hall, putting on my shoes barefoot and half-way down the corridor feeling something a bit funny scratch one of my toes on my right foot. "Oh, maybe it's a shoelace," I think, but deep in the recesses of my mind some primal alarm bell is ringing. I take off the shoe and smack it a couple of times, expecting a small stone. Instead a cockroach falls out.
Oh the wails of horror, disgust and despair that came out of my mouth before I jumped on it with my other foot.
High: Saying fuck it to the night bus, canceling my reservation a couple of days early and getting a 70% refund, then taking the bullet train back to Tokyo and seeing Mt Fuji from the train for the first time. The bullet train is divine and I will never go to Kyoto/Osaka again by any other means. And as the photo below shows, Mt Fuji is still able to appear enigmatic despite being a fuck-off huge volcano.
Low: The ho is still here in the flat when he should have left the day before I got back. Kogo's grandfather died the other day and Kogo had to go back to Kobe to be with his family. The ho is clearly taking advantage of this to be here - he had the look of a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar when I got back. It's a shame, because I was just beginning to warm to him before I left. I don't really have the Japanese to launch into the full-on verbal assault that I'd give him if he understood English, so there's a strange atmosphere of stalemate in the apartment. He's tried to be nice but I've just rebuffed it every time which is freaking him out. He assures me that he'll be gone tomorrow. We'll see.
High: Retail therapy. I have sports clothes to go running in. As of tomorrow I will run. Having not run for over six years, it will hurt, but I will run and I will keep running until I get fit enough to start Karate again. Kogo is majorly into Karate and his enthusiasm is exactly what I need to get off my butt and start it again.
High?: Tomorrow? The day the ho goes?
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